Ex Boyfriends: Ruining Babysitting For Best Friends
by liamdude5
Summary: Mabel wants to leave her daughter with Candy for the night, but she's not too trusting of Candy's husband, Gabe. Maybe Gabe will still be able to pull this off. Oneshot. Rated PG 13 for mild themes and refrences.


Mabel had simple needs. She had a stomach, so she needed to eat. She had lungs, so she needed to drink. She had a heart, so she needed to be swept off her feet every now and again.

That's what was happening tonight. She was being taken out by her special someone.

The only problem was Mabel's daughter, Kristen. But, the solution was a babysitter. Or rather, babysitters.

While she would have loved to have Dipper and Wendy watch Kristen, she also knew that Candy had been dying to watch Kristen for forever.

Mabel, of course, had no problem with Candy. She had a problem with her husband, Gabe.

Now, Mabel was not one of those people who would totally freak out if their friend ended up with their ex. But, she was jealous that Candy got the improved Gabe.

Around the time Gabe turned 18, he realized that he was taking his love of puppets a bit too far. So, he stopped wearing hand puppets and a black leotard all the time. After that, he looked like a regular person.

Sure, he still put on puppet shows for children, but he certainly took his love of puppets down a notch.

This was around the time Candy struck. The two of them started going out and, eventually, got married. And, if what Candy says is true, he's actually a sweet and caring guy now.

Sure, Mabel was happy with her special someone. But, she couldn't help but wonder what would've happened if she'd met this nice Gabe first.

But, as of right now, this wasn't Mabel's prime concern. Right now, Mabel's prime concern was driving her sleeping daughter to her friend's house, while also singing to her.

"Oh, dear sweet Kristen," Mabel sang, "You are my little gentlewoman. I will take you to foggy London town, with a silk hat, because you are my little gentlewoman. How does Celine Dion have a Grammy, but I've got nothing?"

Eventually, Mabel arrived at Candy's house. She grabbed her sleeping daughter and walked to the door.

"Now, remember," Mabel lectured, "Be a good girl for Candy. And, if Gabe tries to hold you, don't be afraid to bite."

Mabel then rang the doorbell. After what sounded like a dog tearing through the apartment went on, Candy opened the door.

"Mabel," Candy greeted, "So nice to see you here, with little Kristen. Hello Kristen."

"Thanks again for watching her for me," Mabel thanked.

"I should be the one thanking you," Candy responded, "She will fill my home with cuteness."

"You still want that $150 though, right," Mabel asked.

"Of course," Candy answered, taking Kristen from Mabel.

As this was going on, Gabe came in from a different room. Of course, he was dressed nice and only had a wedding ring on his hands.

"Hey, look who's here," Gabe greeted, "Hey Mabel. Little Kristen."

"Hello Gaben," Mabel greeted, looking at her feet.

"Come on Mabel," Gabe confronted, "How long are you going to act like this around me." As Gabe stepped next to Candy, Kristen woke up and started crying.

"Oh look," Mabel observed, "She doesn't like you very much either." As she went to grab Kristen from Candy, Candy backed away.

"No," Candy begged, "Please let Aunt Candy handle this." Gabe tried stepping closer to Candy, but she elbowed him away.

"작은 아이를 자," Candy sang, "내가 너를 데려 갈거야 마법의 땅으로. 작은 아이 자, 시간의 재생 와서, 여기에 마법의 내 정원입니다."

As Candy finished her song, Kristen managed to fall asleep.

"That's amazing," Mabel praised, "It always takes me a half hour to get her back down. How'd you do that?"

"Gabe told me once that I should sing in my native language," Candy explained, "He says it puts the kids right to sleep. And it does."

"I just heard her beautiful voice in her native tongue," Gabe complimented, putting his arm around Candy, "And I knew it'd put kids in a trance, like it did to me."

"Aww," Candy cooed.

"So anyways," Mabel deadpanned, "You have my number?"

"Yes," Candy reassured, "Don't worry. Kristen will be fine in our arms."

"It's not your arms I'm worried about," Mabel grumbled as she left the house, leaving Candy and Gabe alone with the baby.

"She is so cute when she sleeps," Candy thought out loud, "Is she not?"

"There is no way I make little Kristen cry," Gabe objected.

"Don't worry," Candy reassured, "Mabel was just making the fun. She does it lots."

"Well," Gabe thought out loud, "Kidding or not, I still think I should prove I can take care of the little one. Let me hold her."

Gabe reached to grab Kristen from Candy, but Candy hissed and pulled Kristen away.

"Please," Gabe asked, flashing Candy the bedroom eyes that always left her smitten.

"Oh alright," Candy gave in, handing Kristen to Gabe.

"Hey there little girl," Gabe softly greeted, "You in dreamland right now?"

As soon as Gabe finished his sentence, Kristen woke up and started crying.

"Seriously," Gabe questioned, "What do I do?"

"Sing something," Candy suggested.

"Ok," Gabe stuttured, "Uh, rock a bye baby, in the treetop. When the wind blows, the cradle will rock. When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall. And down will come baby, cradle and all."

But, this song didn't work, and Kristen continued to cry.

"That didn't work," Candy deadpanned.

"Wait," Gabe thought, "I have an idea. Hold her." Gabe returned Kristen to Candy, and she gladly took her.

While Candy held Kristen, Gabe ran into another room. He emerged a minute later, wearing two hand puppets.

On Gabe's left hand was a stereotypical fairy. On Game's right hand was an old man in a nightgown.

"Hey Kristen," Gabe asked, "Do you want to hear a story?"

Kristen gave a little baby talk that was supposed to mean "Yes".

"Alright then," Gabe responded, "Candy, why don't we sit down. This is a long story."

Candy sat down next to Gabe, still holding Kristen, but in a way so she could see Gabe.

"Once upon a time," Gabe began, "There was an old man named Old Man Scott. But, you can call him Old Man Scott."

This got a baby giggle out of Kristen.

"But," Gabe turned, "Old Man Scott had a problem. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't go to sleep."

"What did Old Man Scott do," Candy asked.

"Old Man Scott tried everything," Gabe explained, "He tried taking a break from sleeping, he tried breathing softly..."

"Wait, stop," Candy blurted out, "Look."

Gabe looked down and saw that Kristen had fallen asleep.

"It worked," Candy complimented, "She's asleep."

"But I had a whole thing ready in my mind," Gabe complained, "A musical number and everything."

"But she looks so cute right now," Candy gushed.

Upon closer examination, Gabe realized that this level of cuteness was worth a little inconvenience.

"I guess she's lucky she's not one of those ugly babies," Gabe joked, "Or I'd wake her up and make her watch the rest of the show."

Candy simply rolled her eyes and settled into the couch, Baby Kristen still on her lap and Gabe next to her, puppets off of his hands.

"She's so precious in sleep," Candy stated.

"Babies really are a blessing," Gabe responded.

"Gabe," Candy asked.

"Yes Candy," Gabe responded.

"Make me pregnant," Candy requested.


End file.
